the past 5 days have been pretty draining, office hours which im not used to and meetings at night which lasted till 9/10pm minimally, sleeping at 1am, i’m really thankful that i’ve sustained the whole week. people in the office have been really nice, think they are one of the most brilliant bunch of people around and yet they are so humble and approachable. still very awkward (le lack of social skills sigh) and taking forever to decipher my readings, gotta buck up next week. 

on a side note, the cambodia team is coming back soon! so fast. 

It is sometimes hard to reconcile that you are the

Creator of all creations

The Jesus who walked the earth

& the personal God who professes ‘you are my daughter and I love you’

it is amazing that as I examine my heart, my diminishing capacity to care, love and to shower concern, God slowly, step by step, shows me what His definition of love is. 

The brand of a disciple of Christ is love. Not just love as we hang on our lips casually, but a different, radical kind of unconditional love. It is what that sets us apart from the rest, and it is what Jesus called us to do. And it is this form of love, if everyone were to practise, the world wont be what we see today. 

Jesus, when He was on earth, set the precedence for such love. When Matthew was a tax collector who was detested, hated, and shunned by everyone then, Jesus welcomed him into apostleship. Even though Jesus knew what was in Peter’s heart, that he was a man who professed his love for Jesus and would die for Him but denied Jesus 3 times, Jesus still loved him all the same. Even though Nathanael was proud initially and dissed the entire town of Jesus ‘what good could come out of Nazareth?!’, Jesus took him in anyway. And FINALLY, as much as Judas Iscariot was a man who was so hardened towards Jesus, Jesus didnt pick and choose and took him in as well. Jesus’ love for everyone was the same, and God’s kingdom was for everyone. It wasnt one of capabilities, or intelligence, or spiritualness, but it was one that God established on the foundation of love. 

We have to shift the whole paradigm of love, and to look straight, eye to eye, with what is unconditional love. It isn’t a means to an end, whereby we think ‘oh if we love, my wife will be a better person at the end of the day’. 

Because the result of Jesus’ love was a painful death on the cross. Yet He didnt withhold any of it for His people and His disciples. 

-With some reference to Andy Stanley’s Christian Part I sermon. 

realised things in the past 1-2 days and just gonna pen them down cos these things are somewhat refreshing and they drive me on in this marathon. & reminders to myself actl, because i have yet to fully grab hold of them either.

1. the word of God cannot be compromised, it is the foundation upon which everything stands. 

we belong to a generation whereby we are constantly bombarded by different messages and different advice in the form of tumblr, quotes and pictures. indeed some of these are encouraging and no doubt God is able to speak to us through them. However, it is a pity and its worrying when people are beginning to revolve their lives about these things, because they are at very best a glimpse of what the truth really is, or more dangerously, there are close to the truth and they pass off to be, but they are really not. We HAVE to be strict about conveying the fullness of the message: the love of God (which we already do), but not omitting the power, the judgment, and the holiness. we do not dilute the WOG simply because we have insufficient knowledge and convey only half-truths, but we seek to make it up by plugging the gaps in our understanding. we withhold swiftly giving answers to the questions people post, in a fierce bid to defend our faith and our rights and our pride, because we cannot risk letting another person walk away with perceptions/ideas that veer away from the absolute. And we have to remind ourselves that the latter matters much more than the former. 

The Word of God is power. 

No doubt it is difficult to understand the Bible, but when we keep the Word of God close to our hearts, God speaks powerfully through them into our lives, and in turn use us to speak to others. The Word of God is the only offensive item in the full armor of God, it is the sharpest double-edged sword that pierces into our hearts, judges our deepest thoughts and desires. 

Overall, it is a pity when God is misrepresented. God loves us so boundlessly, God has such immense power but we live as if the Holy Spirit is dead, and we close one eye to the fact that God did heal the sick & made the lame walk.

We need to bring people to gain access to God, because God is not a generic God whom we pepper our thankyou speeches with. but He is truly a personal God, whom we need to partner at every part of the process. 

Our testimonies are important, but not the most.

Our testimonies are evidence that what God promised in the bible, hold true, and come to pass in this life of ours. However, it is vital to note that ultimately they are stories, and unless others experience God for themselves, and have their lives built upon the most solid foundation, it will not last. 

2. Our spiritual life is not a bed of roses, but problems with it lie in the fact that God is not great enough in our lives. 

recently i’ve just found out how big my comfort zone is… My comfort zone lies in my desire for times of solitude (seriously alot of it), and all i want to do is to stay at home and do my own things, forget about people, forget about relationship, forget about the need to seize the opportunities to learn. 

struggle with going service more than once each weekend, struggled to sign up for extra things such as Word for Life. but yet now I’m really excited and honoured to have been able to be in the Comparative Religion course in WFL, because it’s exciting to to learn about this side of things, than my extra time with myself. Going service another time was a chore, but when I realised how good it is and how lucky I am to be dwelling yet another time in God’s presence, and filling in the blanks in the sermon that I’ve heard ytd, I’m just happy and thankful. 

ultimately it is never about you and them, it’s always about you and God.

the issues that we have with people, is never ultimately about them. it’s always about us, our heart condition, and God has something to say about this. when we find our hearts hardening and being angry, bring it to God. He will know what you need. Jacob schemed, devised plots, planned extensively, tried to work around things, but he never had peace until the day he wrestled with God, and relegated control to Him.

my spiritual life is a marathon not a sprint, and it is good when God feeds me such powerful things that drive me on. Yet on a concluding note, nonetheless, anything without love is pointless, nothing more than a resounding gong or clanging cymbal. people are important to God, and whatever we do, we need to always bear people and love in mind.

best advice

“its not your internship you are worried about right? it’s your family right? Im the God of hope and all good things, dont limit me to the small things. I am able to do great things, beyond your imagination.”

God’s personal message for the day, strengthens my heart. I need to place the God things in my life over all others and sit on them. They are so much more important. 

at this juncture in my school life, never felt so utterly useless and helpless when it comes to projects and havent felt so stretched and tested by God for quite a fair bit of time. 

(it’s something quite small but it got me thinking a fair bit)

i have my moods and i have my emotions and my fair share of disappointment that I go through and i infect people with (sorry guys), but at the end of the day I recognise that this is an humbling process that God puts me through and I willingly go through the lessons that He wants me to learn. I still believe in His best plans, though sometimes when you walk on water you lose sight of God and you start doing everything to prevent faltering, but its a learning process and I dont blame God for it. In this universe and this life of mine I dont ask God to suit my plans I dont ask the creator of heaven, earth and universe to make everything work out because I just simply dont call the shots. 

i think this message that Jesus told Peter 3 times was significant at many levels. It was something short, firm and something that even a paragraph of words honestly will not be able to replace. i’ve been repeating it in my head, allowing it to ring through all my hypothetical scenarios and countless questions and excuses. 

If you love me, feed my sheep. 

Been always posting things before I reach a conclusion myself, but think this time God wants to remind me that when you love God/people more than your own convenience/comfort zone, nothing is impossible.